Acceptance and Surrender are NOT for Wimps

"Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. This will miraculously change your whole life."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     — Eckhart Tolle

A few years ago, I had the privilege of attending a transformative meditation retreat. Four days of immersion in peace, stillness, and centeredness left me feeling deeply connected. But when I returned to the "real world," I was immediately struck by how easily I slipped back into old habits, the familiar patterns of overthinking and stress that often take hold in everyday life.

The biggest challenge I face is learning when to accept things as they are, to let go of my need to control every outcome, and to surrender to the flow of life. It’s a lesson that continues to evolve, and one that has proven to be as counterintuitive as it is profound: true transformation begins with acceptance and surrender.

In our culture, we’re often taught to resist what’s uncomfortable, to fight against challenges, and to constantly push for more. But the courage it takes to surrender — to truly accept life as it is — can lead to breakthroughs we never imagined.

This doesn’t mean we passively resign ourselves to circumstances, nor does it mean that we don’t take responsibility for our actions. Instead, it’s about shifting our energy from resistance to presence, from struggle to clarity. Surrendering isn’t about giving up—it’s about stepping into a place of strength where you let go of the need to control and make room for life to unfold in its natural rhythm.

True strength lies in surrender.

We all face moments when we could choose to fight against the situation, yet more often than not, resistance only keeps us stuck. Fighting with reality drains our energy, keeping us trapped in cycles of frustration and overwhelm. But when we choose to accept what is, we open the door to real change.

A martial artist is the perfect example of this principle. When you think of a warrior, you might picture someone tough and unyielding, but true mastery is rooted in the power of surrender. Korean martial arts teach the principle of Pil Sung — “certain victory.” The most skilled warriors understand that strength doesn’t come from force alone, but from the deep awareness of when to step back, breathe, and let life guide them.

The paradox of surrender: When we stop resisting, we stop fighting with the present moment. This is when we can finally move forward, free from the weight of unnecessary struggle. As Byron Katie wisely said, “When you argue with reality, you lose… but only 100% of the time.”

Acceptance and surrender don’t mean we “give in” to life’s challenges. They don’t mean that we stop striving, stop taking responsibility, or stop pushing forward. Instead, they mean letting go of old habits, limiting beliefs, and unproductive mental patterns that prevent us from living freely.

The more we resist, the more we perpetuate the struggle. But when we release our need to control, we create space for clarity, inspired action, and the natural flow of life. In essence, we stop fighting with ourselves and start flowing with life.

What happens when we let go?
When we release the struggle, we begin to see that the path we’re on may be exactly where we’re meant to be. By shedding our attachment to “how things should be,” we allow ourselves to see things as they are, opening up new possibilities. Life begins to unfold for us, and through us, when we stop resisting the moment.

So, how can we embrace acceptance and surrender in our lives today? Here are a few practical steps to help you start:

1) Stop, Drop, and Breathe
The next time you find yourself caught in resistance or upset, take a moment to stop and truly observe the situation. Drop out of your head and into your heart. Slow your breath and reconnect with your inner guidance. When we are in a state of panic, we rarely make good decisions. By pausing, we create the space to accept what is and choose our next steps from a place of clarity.

2) Remind Yourself: Everything Always Works Out
In my own experience, worrying and resisting rarely produce good results. When I fight what is, I drain my energy and create more stress. But when I let go and trust that things will unfold as they’re meant to, I can focus on taking meaningful actions. Remember Mark Twain’s words: “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

3) Take Inspired Action
Once you’ve gained a sense of calm and clarity, take action. It doesn’t have to be a big leap; just take the next right step. Slow your thoughts and listen to your inner voice. Then, take one step, then another, and another. Small actions, consistently taken, lead to profound results.

4) Ask for Help When Needed
Surrendering to the flow of life doesn’t mean we do it all alone. In fact, one of the most powerful acts of surrender is knowing when to ask for help. No one achieves greatness in isolation. Asking for support is not a sign of weakness—it’s a mark of strength and wisdom.

5) Let Go of the Outcome
Perhaps the hardest part of surrendering is letting go of the outcome. It requires trust—a trust that something bigger than ourselves is always guiding us, even when we can’t see it. Letting go of attachment to how things “should” turn out frees us to experience life as it unfolds, moment by moment.

The Challenge for This Week:
Where in your life could you practice accepting what is? Where can you stop fighting with reality and allow things to unfold naturally? When we let go of resistance, we create space for growth, peace, and freedom. This week, I challenge you to look for those moments of surrender. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be.

Remember, acceptance and surrender are not for the faint of heart—they are the practice of the brave, the bold, and the courageous. They are the gateway to a life of true transformation.

With strength and grace,

Chris Natzke

Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching