Are You Anxious, or are You Excited?

“The only real difference between anxiety and excitement was my willingness to let go of fear.”

                                                                                              - Barbara Brown Taylor

As a martial arts master instructor, I have had many opportunities in my career to assist my students in moving through their fears. 

Whether it was stepping onto the mat for their first class, testing for a new belt, breaking a board with an unfamiliar technique, or stepping into the sparring ring versus an opponent, the fear and anxiety felt can be palpable and cause one to freeze or give up before they ever try.

However, one thing I have noticed throughout the years, is those who chose to move forward despite their fears, and brake through to the other side, were met with feelings of exhilaration and excitement they never knew possible.  The mere action of moving towards and eventually through their fears, oftentimes proved to life-changing in building their confidence and self-esteem.

While you may never experience the feelings of trepidation that are associated with being a martial arts student, almost all of us have had experiences in our lives when the worry and anxiety associated with taking a new or unfamiliar action can bring up paralyzing fear.

This is particularly true for many in public speaking.

Public speaking, like many activities that stretch us, have the capacity to bring forth our greatest fears and insecurities.  Self-consciousness in how we look, how we sound, how people may respond to our message can bring up all sorts of nervousness, self-doubt, and insecurities.

In fact, it has been often sited that the number one fear among adults is public speaking (by the way, #2 on the list is death).  This reminds me of comedian, Jerry Seinfeld who quips about this phenomenon, 

"That means you would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy."

Today, when working with my life-coaching to speaking clients, when helping them to reduce and/or redirect the fear that can overcome them in these difficult situations, I often remind them of a scientific study I read about a several years ago.

Researchers brought in subjects and did brain scans on them while asking them to identify specific emotions they were feeling at the time.  Each emotion would cause the brain to "light up" in very specific patterns based on the emotions they were feeling (e.g. joyfulness, nervousness, confusion, surprise, etc.).

In reviewing their research results, the scientists noticed the brains would "light up" in exactly the same way for two emotions usually deemed very different from one another – 

Anxiety and Excitement.

In other words, the brain could not tell the difference between the two.  The only difference between a subject experiencing the "negative" emotion of anxiety versus a "positive" emotion of excitement was the meaning the subject was putting on the situation or condition they found themselves in or were imagining.

For me, this has reinforced the understanding that it is not really the circumstances we find ourselves in that causes us upset, but the meaning we assign to the situation.

So, what can you do the next time fear and anxiety present themselves in an uncomfortable situation?  Here are five steps I use to transform my anxiety into excitement.

• Breathe It – When you notice anxiety rising within you, get present with your breath. Slow it down, breathing through your nose and deeply into your belly.  As you exhale, breathe slowly through your mouth like you are breathing through a straw.  This will regulate your breath and help you calm your mind.
• Feel It - While it may seem counter-intuitive, when feelings of anxiety surface, the best thing we can do is to actually feel them.  What most of us do is try to ignore or supress them.  There is energy in there for you to use.  Feel it and then use it to your advantage when you...
• Reframe It – We are at our most unempowered states when we are either worrying about the future or regretful of the past. Look at what is right in from of you NOW and do your best stay in the present moment.  It is from this place you can reframe it by saying to yourself, “Wow, I must really be excited!”
• Identify It – Very few extraordinary feats are done in one profound instance. Rather, they come as an accumulation of one courageous step, followed by another and followed by another.  Identifying your "next right move" can help you take your power back by focusing on something you can control. For example, if you are worried about speaking in front of a group, focus on the first sentence of your introduction and not getting through your entire speech.  Trust your natural ability to speak will take over just as you would in any conversation. 

• Do It – Staying stuck in our heads and analyzing the situation at the expense of taking action can prove to be one of the most debilitating things we can do when faced with fear. I have always loved what one of my teachers told me many years ago,

“God meets us at the point of action.”

Regardless of your beliefs, know that when you take a step towards your fears (even if it’s tiny, at first), you will be met with an extra wind behind your back that will help you set your course and move you through whatever obstacle presents itself.  

So, this week I encourage you to play with this yourself.  When you find yourself in a situation that is bringing forth nervousness or anxiety like speaking in front of a group, having a challenging conversation with a co-worker or taking a professional or personal risk, tell yourself, "Wow, I must be really excited about this!" and see how this changes your experience and your results.

Are you feeling anxiety or excitement?  The choice is yours.

Chris Natzke                                                                                                        

Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching

PS:  If you are looking transform you anxiety into excitement and experience your own breakthrough, check out my Breaking Through Online Course .