People Who Want What's Best for You, Want to See You at Your Best

“People who want what’s best for you, want to see you at your best.”

                                                                                          - Oprah Winfrey

I was recently watching an inspirational video on YouTube featuring Oprah Winfrey delivering a commencement speech to an auditorium of graduating college students (yes, I think Oprah is the bomb 😊). 

During her impassioned address, she imparted upon the graduates the words shared above,

“People who want what’s best for you, want to see you at your best.” 

Hearing these words caused me to pause, reflect upon and appreciate all of the amazing people I have had in my life who supported and encouraged me. 

These include my parents, my family, my martial arts instructors, my students, my bosses, my coaches, my friends, and yes, my former spouse. 

Each one of them has brought a specific gift to me to encourage me to be my best by claiming the best that they see in me. 

During almost every keynote address or program I am honored enough to deliver, I begin with the story of my Taekwondo instructor, Grandmaster J.K. Lee. 

In one of my first classes with him, he approached me as I sat stretching with my legs spread wide, before his class.  After locking his eyes onto me, to my amazement, he sat down in front of me.  He put his right foot on the inside of one of my legs, his right foot on the inside of my other, grabbed the ends of my martial arts belt; and will one push/pull motion, split me out to 180 degrees.

While I learned that anyone on this planet can achieve the full splits – at least once.  I remember like it was yesterday him looking at me intently in my eyes and saying the words that would impact my life forever when he said,

“I will make you a champion!”

I floated home that day as an enthusiastic 13-year old to tell my parents what Grandmaster Lee had told me, and I began dreaming fervently about medals, trophies, and Olympic glory. 

However, what I have come to realize over the four decades passed since that experience is that he meant something much greater that victory in the ring; what he meant was becoming a champion in life. 

And while my mind heard the words “I will make you a champion.”, what my heart heard was, “I believe in you."

While it would be my hope that all of us have had or continue to have a person in their lives that encourages us and claims greatness for us, I understand that this is not always the case. 

In fact, I believe most of us have experienced the exact opposite; people in our lives that have discouraged us, questioned our dreams, and attempted to put us in our place. 

It has been my experience that when this happens, it is usually not done from a perspective of wanting to deliberately harm us, but it actually comes from two other sources. 

First, words of discouragement come from someone projecting their own fears and lack of self-worth upon us.  In this case, if they know you will not move forward in pursuit of your dreams, it gives them permission to stay in their own fears and self-created comfort zones. 

In the second, it is simply because they want to protect us from harm and disappointment.  They want to keep us safe from embarrassment, failure, and harm. 

Regardless of their intentions, be they conscious or unconscious, it is our responsibility to see those words of discouragement for what they are, a means of projection or protection. 

When we view them from this perspective, what we begin to see is they are gifts and an opportunity to become even more steadfast in our belief in ourselves and committed to our visions, dreams and quest to be our best.

It all really comes down to one thing.  Despite what the world offers us, whether it is “positive” or “negative”, the choice is always ours to take what comes our way in the form of feedback from others as either an anchor to hold us back or a catalyst to propel us forward. 

With that being said, here are three things I believe we all can hold true to bring out the best in ourselves.

• See what is truly the best for you – While encouragement and support is an absolutely wonderful gift to receive, the true power of wanting what is best for ourselves and seeing ourselves as our best has to start with us.

No one can truly state what best for us.  Despite their most well-meaning intentions, what is best for us and the highest expression of who we are meant to be, lies within our own hearts. 

It is our responsibility to move all of the self-doubt and limiting beliefs that get in the way of this “knowingness” and take the inspired action necessary to make that vision of ourselves a reality. 

In the end, no one can do it for our us.  Transforming ourselves into the highest expression of who we are meant to be is first and foremost, an inside job. 

What can you begin being, doing and saying today to take you on this path of being your best?

• Support what is the best for others – There are two laws of nature I know to be true; we become what we think about AND we receive what we give.

When we unselfishly give support to what is the best for others and celebrate their success with as much we delight in our own, we build up a vibration that sends forth a signal to bring us those exact experiences for ourselves. 

It has been my experience when being mentored by those I would consider as successful, is that nothing brings them more joy than seeing others be successful as well. 

These highly successful individuals understand that giving and receiving is truly the same energy. 

Where in your life do you have an opportunity to see the best in others and support them in being their best?  Is it your spouse, your children, your co-workers, your boss? 

Give it a try and see how it not only transforms your relationship with them, but also your relationship with yourself.

• Surround yourself with supportive people – The great speaker and author, Jim Rohn is quoted as saying, “You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

Think about that for a moment.  Isn’t it true that when you spend time with those that are positive, generous and up to big things in the world you are inspired to do the same?   Conversely, when you are with those that are negative, self-loathing and adverse to positive risk taking you have a tendency to take on those traits, as well? 

When you surround yourself with people who not only want the best for themselves but also want the best for you, it creates an energy vortex of love, support and community to bring all beings to their highest expression of self. 

Who are you spending your time with?  When you are with them, how are you showing up? Is it time for a change either inside yourself or with the company you keep?

So, there you have it, my friends.  I challenge all of us this week to consider who we are at our best and how we can support ourselves and others to be the same. 

Trust me when I say that when you look for the best in ourselves and others, you will find it. 

And while you are powerfully, confidently, and happily expressing the best you can be, you will also be giving others permission to do the same.

Chris Natzke

Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching

PS:  I you are looking to learn the principles that can keep you going in times of challenge, go to my new website, www.ChrisNatzke.com and download my FREE REPORT, The Top Ten Big Ideas to Create Breakthroughs.