"How Do I Do It?" vs. "Can I Do It?"
“(A) process orientation (versus outcome orientation) . . . asks ‘How do I do it?’ instead of ‘Can I do it?’ and this directs attention toward defining the steps that are necessary on the way. This orientation can be characterized in terms of the guiding principle that there are no failures, only ineffective solutions.”
- Ellen Langer, Mindfulness
Think of the last time you faced a major challenge in your life. You may be at that place right now as you read this.
How many times are we caught up in the mind game of whether we can successfully tackle a challenging situation? Our minds can go in all types of...
How are you BEing?
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
- Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Several years ago, while attending a month-long leadership training, the facilitator of the program made a statement that would prove to be life-changing for me.
He began one of our first sessions together by saying,
"Most of you in this room are living your lives backwards.”
I thought that was an interesting statement, so I took out my pen to take some copious notes. He then when onto say, "Most of you are living your...
Bazooka Joe Wisdom
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
- Tony Robbins
When I was young, I loved bubble gum. My mom taught me how to blow bubbles with my chewing gum, and I loved showing off my skill in producing the largest bubbles possible without allowing them to pop and caught in my face and hair.
My favorite bubble gum was the Bazooka Joe brand. Its flat rectangular shape fit easily into my mouth, and within a matter of seconds, the sugary, pliable, pink substance popped joyfully into my mouth. I also liked Bazooka Joe because of what was inside each wrapper – a comic strip.
One day, I...
Are You Anxious, or are You Excited?
“The only real difference between anxiety and excitement was my willingness to let go of fear.”
- Barbara Brown Taylor
As a martial arts master instructor, I have had many opportunities in my career to assist my students in moving through their fears.
Whether it was stepping onto the mat for their first class, testing for a new belt, breaking a board with an unfamiliar technique, or stepping into the sparring ring versus an opponent, the fear and anxiety felt can be palpable and cause one to freeze or give up before they ever try.
However, one thing I have noticed throughout the years, is those who chose to move...
What You're Looking For, You'll Usually See
“What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.”
- Robin Sharma
Champions, whether it be in sports, business or in life, understand one very simple concept - what we focus on expands.
Think about a vision you have for your life and/or your business. When you focus on the things that empower you on your journey to achieving your dream, the things that excite you and feed your soul on your quest, you usually experience people or circumstances that support you on your path.
Conversely, when you just focus on the challenges...
Was the Ticket Good or Bad?
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
- Hamlet
It is easy for all of us to label experiences in our lives as "good" or "bad" based on how they compare to our expectations. It can be easy to reflect on our experiences as “bad” when things don’t go the way we planned.
However, if the recent pandemic has taught us anything, it is that we need to be flexible in how we view situations and nimble in our approach to dealing with challenges that arrive us safely and triumphantly on the other side
It is often not until much time has passed that the situations we have judged as the most negative can be seen as...
What You're Looking For, You'll Usually See
“We’ve got to remember that we get whatever we focus on in life. If we keep focusing on what we don’t want, we’ll have more of it. The first step to creating any change is deciding what you do want so that you have something to move toward.”
- Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within
Champions, whether it be in sports, business or in life, understand one very simple concept - what we focus on expands.
Think about a vision you have for your life and/or your business.
When you focus on the things that empower you on your journey to achieving your dream, the things that excite you and feed your soul on your quest, you...
Acceptance and Surrender are NOT for Wimps
“Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it…….This will miraculously change your whole life.”
- Eckhart Tolle
A couple of years ago, I treated myself to an amazing meditation retreat.
After four days in the serenity of centeredness, I re-entered the "real world" and was struck by how easy it is to me to revert back to old patterns and habits of getting caught up in my head and the stressors of life.
One of the most difficult lessons for me, in my life, is to know when to accept what is, let go of...
You Can Come To Me With Any Problem, Just Always Come With A Solution
“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems.”
- Anthony J. D’Angelo
Today, I was sitting and reflecting on the many people who have crossed my path who have made a positive impact on my life.
Some of these people have been with me my entire life and other times for a relatively brief period of time.
Interestingly enough, there is no correlation between time and the impact made. Even those who are in our lives for brief periods can have lasting impact.
One such person for me was Frank Jeffrey.
Immediately after graduating from college, I began my career...
Are You Being a Victim or an Owner?
“Today is a new day. Don't let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!”
- Steve Maraboli
Are you being a victim or are you an owner?
I first heard this question posed several years ago by super coach, Steve Chandler when I was attending one of his great seminars.
The concept is really quite...